Is it just me?

Or do the holidays feel a bit lackluster this year?  Maybe it's the economy (could that be any more of a bullshit excuse?), maybe it's the fact that it's my first holiday after the move away from my hometown, maybe I've changed? I look forward to the holidays all year: I adore the weather, I heart sweaters, I love holiday food, I can't wait to decorate--I love everything holidays. This year, my apartment is seriously lacking in holiday festivenessity, due to the strict budget I find myself living on after buying a car spur of the moment--my living room doesn't even have a tree! I've been waiting all year to drive up to Apple Hill and direct the fiance in the cutting down of the perfect tree, yet, somehow, we never got around to it. We're buying a tree off the church fundraising lot near our house tomorrow. I haven't collected any new ornaments--I haven't even picked up my childhood ornaments from my parent's house! No holiday baking has occured (though, considering my desire to lose weight, that could be a good thing.) and I've meticulously collected recipes all year! I haven't even really gotten to Christmas shop, thanks again to that whole budget issue. I'm making gifts this year, cookies in a jar and the like (another thing I have to do tomorrow). Maybe I'm missing the true meaning of Christmas or something, but it just feels to me that this holiday season is not satisfying my need for holidayness. Seeing as it's my first holiday in my new town, that could probably be part of it; this doesn't feel like home, doesn't feel like my winter weather, doesn't feel like my anything. Does that even make sense?  Not that I don't like where I live...I just haven't been here long enough for it to have the sense of comfort and familarity that my hometown has. I miss home, which is something I honestly thought I would never say. I find myself missing a lot of things lately; I am a wealth of unused and discarded potential.

Enough useless whining. My house isn't going to clean itself, unfortunately.