So last night, whilst watching my recorded version of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (I didn't get to watch it when it aired as the man was busy watching some basketball game or something), and stuffing handfuls of chips dipped in cheesy jalepeno crab dip into my face, I had a realization: I have an addiction to food. Now, I haven't been happy with my weight for some time, and I've tried Jenny Craig (during the course of which I lost 20 pounds that I immediately gained back), and watching what I eat and all of that, but I can't never stick to it, and could never figure out why. But I really believe it's an addiction; i come to food for a sense of comfort and security, a sense of momentary happiness and fulfillment. I don't even think I eat when I'm hungry--it's more out of boredom and dissatisfaction. I even associate food with happy feelings too; the holidays center around food for me, as does my birthday, or any other happy or celebratory time. I can't even think "I should meet up with a friend," instead, I say to myself "I should meet her at Cheesecake Factory for lunch..." So obviously, this poses a large roadblock to the 40 pounds I'd like to lose before my wedding. Don't they say knowing you have an addiction is half of the solution? Let's hope that will hold true.

My fridge is stocked with fruits and vegetables, ingredients for healthy dinners (recipes courtesy of http://www.sparkrecipes.com/), and my freezer packed with lean cuisines (to take as quick lunches during the workweek). I have vowed to myself to eat breakfast every morning, whether it be a yogurt or a small bowl of oatmeal, and try to control my Starbucks intake. I am a huge Starbucks fan, and love to start my morning with a white mocha, peppermint mocha, pumpkin spice latte, or caramel macciato (though I drink them nonfat, they still pack plenty of calories). Also, I plan to avail myself of the 24 hour gym in my apartment complex; it is state of the art, often empty, and despite the fact that it is located less than a minute away, I have never been able to haul myself there. So here's my plan, with a little help from http://www.sparkpeople.com/ :
-Limit calorie intake to 1200-1500 calories a day
-Drink a minimum of 8 ounces of water a day
-Strength train for a minimum of 30 minutes a day, twice a week
-Cardio (most likely a fast walk on a treadmill) a minimum of 30 minutes 5 days a week
-Control my Starbucks cravings: no bigger than a size tall, always nonfat with no whipped cream, and sugarfree when possible).
According to sparkpeople, should I manage to keep myself to this plan, I'll have lost the desired 40 pounds by the end of April! That seems a bit ambitious to me, but what do I know? I'll have to trust the experts at sparkpeople. Have you check out sparkpeople? It really is a very helpful website. It builds meal plans for you (should you want them), exercise plans, forces you to be accountable and track everything you eat (so that you know how many calories you're eating), and it's sister site sparkrecipes.com has a huuuuuuuuuge selection of healthy, user-rated and delicious recipes to try out. I guess that's my plan?  We shall see how much success I'll have with it...